walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
