Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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