some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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