just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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