hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I faked an abortion last night.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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