i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
