when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
