i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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