Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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