Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
