If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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