dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
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i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
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I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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