Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
