it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
i think my cat just said my name.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
