the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Green mimosas i think yes
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
