I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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