doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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