I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize