ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
