She is in my trunk
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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