Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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