even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
As shirtless as possible
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize