I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
