There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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