Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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