what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
