I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
accomplished twins. life is a go
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize