can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
