thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
