Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
