What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize