Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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