I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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