her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
