Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We have started to decorate penises.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
