I wish i was in the wii world.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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