Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
