Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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