they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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