Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
