Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
