I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize