So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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