Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
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She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
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All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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