Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
