i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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