It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
