We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
