how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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