You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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