Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You can't special order awesome
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
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And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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