Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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