Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
