I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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