I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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