Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
