I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
