what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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