Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
