I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
