just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
