Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
