Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.

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  (248): Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup. http://tfl.nu/xbnm
  Replies (156) Good night (1467) Bad night (2781)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.

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  (201): Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag. http://tfl.nu/pvf6
  Replies (22) Good night (5858) Bad night (666)
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  (510): View more from California

  Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.

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  (510): Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day. http://tfl.nu/kbev
  Replies (7) Good night (1484) Bad night (2729)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.

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  (804): They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones. http://tfl.nu/bfce
  Replies (18) Good night (1086) Bad night (4529)
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  (707): View more from California

  I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister

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  (707): I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister http://tfl.nu/vdmj
  Replies (7) Good night (2539) Bad night (902)
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  (530): View more from California

  When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.

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  (530): When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party. http://tfl.nu/3bf6
  Replies (4) Good night (901) Bad night (1719)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina

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  (813): Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina http://tfl.nu/thir
  Replies (9) Good night (2708) Bad night (841)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.

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  (309): We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica. http://tfl.nu/qw7s
  Replies (5) Good night (1505) Bad night (474)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.

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  (832): Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right. http://tfl.nu/ngre
  Replies (9) Good night (3392) Bad night (656)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...

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  (304): I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here... http://tfl.nu/7uov
  Replies (3) Good night (430) Bad night (897)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole

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  (720): Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole http://tfl.nu/mr1r
  Replies (3) Good night (600) Bad night (350)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.

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  (917): Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one. http://tfl.nu/xmv0
  Replies (1) Good night (761) Bad night (303)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.

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  (727): Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up. http://tfl.nu/meqs
  Replies (1) Good night (573) Bad night (264)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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  (216): Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital. http://tfl.nu/atdl
  Replies (7) Good night (314) Bad night (524)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.

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  (610): So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing. http://tfl.nu/6ff8
  Replies (9) Good night (703) Bad night (333)

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