Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again

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  (973): At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again http://tfl.nu/dnym
  Replies (6) Good night (991) Bad night (484)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.

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  (757): 6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter. http://tfl.nu/kp9e
  Replies (42) Good night (5359) Bad night (854)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...

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  (720): I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands... http://tfl.nu/51q8
  Replies (25) Good night (1343) Bad night (4024)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.

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  (570): when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one. http://tfl.nu/52ae
  Replies (16) Good night (3684) Bad night (1351)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.

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  (201): He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty. http://tfl.nu/jiec
  Replies (3) Good night (1919) Bad night (962)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.

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  (603): He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car. http://tfl.nu/1mzx
  Replies (50) Good night (7943) Bad night (875)
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  (315): View more from New York

  mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'

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  (315): mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes' http://tfl.nu/oh7r
  Replies (23) Good night (787) Bad night (3563)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?

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  (203): We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right? http://tfl.nu/13y7
  Replies (9) Good night (1383) Bad night (601)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.

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  (770): You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned. http://tfl.nu/2qpc
  Replies (5) Good night (2169) Bad night (585)
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  (530): View more from California

  Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you

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  (530): Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you http://tfl.nu/bp7f
  Replies (5) Good night (759) Bad night (2083)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom

  (347): View more from New York

  I can't even drink.

  (646): View more from New York

  The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.

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  (646): Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom (347): I can't even drink. (646): The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples. http://tfl.nu/1cwa
  Replies (10) Good night (1905) Bad night (576)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.

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  (724): At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help. http://tfl.nu/kqwe
  Replies (5) Good night (1098) Bad night (596)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  "The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"

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  (480): "The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!" http://tfl.nu/bdi6
  Replies (3) Good night (899) Bad night (344)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming

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  (403): Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming http://tfl.nu/n2ay
  Replies (5) Good night (1057) Bad night (514)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.

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  (936): Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major. http://tfl.nu/nm7r
  Replies (2) Good night (396) Bad night (185)

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