Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"

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(607): View more from New York

I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"

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(225): View more from Louisiana

But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(865): View more from Tennessee

I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her

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(914): View more from New York

I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.

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