Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.

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  (410): He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go. http://tfl.nu/s9bl
  Replies (4) Good night (782) Bad night (1568)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  tonight, alcohol would be proud of us

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  (778): tonight, alcohol would be proud of us http://tfl.nu/7h3d
  Replies (10) Good night (5089) Bad night (678)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?

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  (778): Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird? http://tfl.nu/7neo
  Replies (26) Good night (4161) Bad night (945)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.

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  (716): i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating. http://tfl.nu/fu9a
  Replies (6) Good night (3450) Bad night (833)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.

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  (701): Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives. http://tfl.nu/vpi4
  Replies (22) Good night (7596) Bad night (1631)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.

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  (904): Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is. http://tfl.nu/v4zj
  Replies (49) Good night (9401) Bad night (1510)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.

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  (254): it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless. http://tfl.nu/hrpm
  Replies (15) Good night (2974) Bad night (1571)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.

  (1-352): View more from Florida

  Oh God. You're going to jail

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  (352): The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals. (1-352): Oh God. You're going to jail http://tfl.nu/m7qu
  Replies (30) Good night (6152) Bad night (1640)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups

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  (724): I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups http://tfl.nu/pn1i
  Replies (5) Good night (2085) Bad night (682)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.

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  (608): He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks. http://tfl.nu/svc2
  Replies (14) Good night (2013) Bad night (949)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Bonus points are bonus points regardless

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  (973): Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you (571): Bonus points are bonus points regardless http://tfl.nu/vyof
  Replies (10) Good night (1142) Bad night (1079)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.

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  (505): We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon. http://tfl.nu/nv69
  Replies (15) Good night (1816) Bad night (531)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.

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  (205): High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead. http://tfl.nu/efrd
  Replies (11) Good night (2709) Bad night (720)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.

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  (504): You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place. http://tfl.nu/e382
  Replies (0) Good night (406) Bad night (263)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.

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  (251): Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them. http://tfl.nu/7qa6
  Replies (0) Good night (232) Bad night (480)

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