Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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