Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
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There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
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We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.