Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding