He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.