my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize